I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
