That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
