dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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