Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
