I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
