The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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