I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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