do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
