the condom got lost in my hair
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
