We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
