Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
