He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize