guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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