it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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