How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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