Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
