You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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