I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize