He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
MIDGETS
????
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
