There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
