The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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