he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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