I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
