why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize