Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize