Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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