why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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