Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Shame - the story of my life.
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