The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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