ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
