Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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