You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
