Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
