I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
is that a dick in a sweater?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize