Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
