sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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