man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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