do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
