i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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