Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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