And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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