Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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