yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
