Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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