tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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