I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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