This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the day after is always just damage control
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
