Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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