I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
