I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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