You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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