I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
honey bunches of taint.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need to sanitize my soul.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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