who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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