You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.