well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
